Mardy Bum – Morrissey claims he can’t get a record deal

Morrissey has revealed he is currently without a record deal, complaining that no labels have sought him out. “There’s not much I can do about it,” he said. “You assume that anyone who wants you will come and get you” he claimed, whilst wearing a t-shirt saying ‘come and get me’ and ringing his bell.

These things take time – Cold War Kids

Things change in music. There’s a commonly held theory about U2 which illustrates this beautifully. Many feel that if the record industry had been the same when they emerged as it is now that they’d have been dropped around about the time of October. Oh sure, they’d have signed to Factory or Rough Trade  and [...]

Guitar music – dead again?

Guitar music is dead again, apparently. What do you mean you didn’t know? Well, it’s your fault for not noticing. Yes, as utterly ludicrous as it seems following the year when Kings of Leon sold 18 trillion albums and you couldn’t get a ticket to see Mumford and Sons without a hundred quid or the [...]

The Songs That Saved Your Life – The 00s: What Now?

In the final part of our look at decade-defining works, we shift gears slightly and look at what the current era will be remembered for musically. Frankly, we’re gutted John and Edward won’t release a record before the qualifying period ends. So, the 00s, or the noughties, or whatever you chose to call them. What [...]

The Live Experience – The music vs the show

Our intrepid reporter Mrs.Morrissey attended last nights Coldplay show at Hampden in Glasgow. We’re not carrying a review because it’s Coldplay and it doesn’t count. You know what Coldplay sound like and, in simplistic terms, you’ll know whether you would have enjoyed it or you wouldn’t have. They are Coldplay. They played all the Coldplay [...]

The Monday Meh! – U2

If ever a band divided opinion, it’s U2. Some see them as the ultimate modern rock band, able to channel their obvious passion into classic songwriting. A band who connect with their audience and always seem to be able to fit into the prevailing mood in music. Others see them as clumsy practitioners of vapid, [...]

‘A Bloke in the Pub Told Me’….Facts!

A steadfast and indisputable truth of the Universe is that the Earth revolves around the Sun. Similarly, anything a bloke tells you in a pub is gospel. Once you realise this, it opens up a plethora of facts and figures which, while sharing the common factor of being singularly useless, are nonetheless mildly interesting. Many [...]

You Couldn’t Sell All Your Tickets – U2 Struggle While AC/DC Thrive

ELM’s most scabrous contributor, ScantRegard, here looks at how the economy is affecting different acts at the top end of the market. And laughs at some of them. Ah, I love the smell of schadenfreude in the morning. You see, rumour has it that our good friends U2 are imminently about to start reducing the [...]

U2 to ‘Donate Tour Profits to Charity’ – Only Not Really….

Calling out U2 for their sheer undiluted arseholeness is a bit like lambasting the rain; it might relieve some frustration but it’s ultimately pointless. After a while, you start to suspect that it isn’t really their fault, that they might just be genetically conditioned to be such complete and utter tools. But then comes news [...]

In The Name Of Fu…. – U2 Are Back

U2, returning with new album ‘No Line On the Horizon’, really are the embodiment of the Rock Superpower. Though they were by no means the first, they really defined the idea of a stadium band and the megalithic album every two years. If that sounds formulaic, well, it is, but in all fairness it’s their [...]

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