We live in a crazy world. Everything seems to be liquid now; nobody knows what the future holds. Nothing is as it was and it never seriously threatens to settle. It’s easy to feel disconnected, as if the lead is there but you haven’t been plugged in.
Luckily, there are some things you can rely on. The Friday 5 is one of them. When we remember to do one.
This week, we decided to have a look at some unarguable constants of music. Things which, no matter which way you look at them, lead only to the same conclusion. There is no room for discourse, although we encourage it, if only to revel in telling you are wrong. Which you will be. Unless you agree. Or something.
Double albums would always have made better single albums – The new Flaming Lips album ‘Embryonic’ (cover pictured) got us talking about this simple fact. It has its moments, but could have done with a healthy pruning. Everybody always states that the White Album is an example of a great double, but truthfully (and you know we are Beatles fans in this place) it’s not short of clunkers. ‘Wild Honey Pie’, ‘’Revolution #9’, ‘Honey Pie’….they’re just not very good. If ever you have 20 songs written, chances are 10 of them are better than the other 10. That’s how it works. Back in the day, people accepted this and that’s why we had b-sides.
Some acts get praised regardless – Back to the afore-mentioned Flaming Lips. The album has already been spunked on by the press, as it was always destined to. They’ve entered the ‘Radiohead Plateau’ – reviewers listen for something to like. This is not an irreversible condition; indeed, you may be on the plateau one day and on Backlash Boulevard the next. But for certain acts at certain times, objective criticism is out the window. Need another example? Arcade Fire’s second album, which can be summed up by the words ‘not as good as the first.’ But ‘Neon Bible’ found its way to the top of many an album of the year poll. We’d be willing to bet the next one gets slaughtered.
All Welsh music is shit – Honestly. We really tried on this, but…Manic Street Preachers, Mary Hopkin and Tom ‘Fucking’ Jones. Oh, I know someone is going to say ‘What about the Super Furries or Gorky’s?’ but I don’t like them either. I’d maybe give you Badfinger, but only the poppier stuff. So no. I think it’s the accents. Its like ‘instant idiot, just add water’. Sorry Welsh folks.
They don’t write them like they used to – They don’t. Undeniable.
Everyone should use a cowbell at least once – Why wouldn’t you use a cowbell? Think of all the great songs they’ve been on. Apart from ‘Don’t Fear the Reaper’. Okay, I’ll grant you, not a lot. But that just makes it even more critical that more bands do it.
Well, that’s it from us. Please don’t take the above at all seriously, apart from the stuff which is true. Enjoy Friday folks!
Filed under: Friday Fives, Regular Features Tagged: | badfinger, Beatles, embryonic, Flaming lips, Friday 5, Manic Street Preachers, pancakes!, super furry animals, tom jones
Cowbell ?
Honky-tonk women.
Not as good as DFTR.
And I foirgot Shirley Bassey. I fucking hate Shirley Bassey.
Ooh, I’ve got one; any song with a count in of any description is bound to be magic. there is something magical about “1,2, 3, 4…”.
And one other: Robbie Williams is a cunt. Sure as eggs is eggs. Who’d have thought 3 years in LA would have diminished this? No-one? What do you know, we were right!
So true GGM. So true.