Lyrics are beautiful things. They are, after all, the things which elevate the truly great from the merely excellent. A song with a lyric which makes you laugh, which makes you think, which makes you cry. Except in dance music, obviously, where it doesn’t really matter. But we’ll ignore that.
But sometimes comes a lyric which sets your teeth on edge in a way that suggests that someone has asked you to sit through a Lee Evans DVD. It can be corny, it can be laboured, it can be clumsy; but the single defining characteristic of it is that you really, honestly and truly hate it. H-A-T-E it. The way you feel about Paolo Nutella. That bad.
The worst example of this is when it comes in a song you really like. This is the predicament ELM finds itself in today. We really love Regina Spektor, we are huge fans of her new single The Calculation. Its a rocking slice of Ben Folds-esque baroque pop and it’s great to see her getting airplay. But it contains this lyric;
We made our own computer out of macaroni pieces.
Now, ELM have been staunch defenders of Ms. Spektor’s chair-bashing quirkiness, and we stand by our woman here. But love sometimes means having to tell someone you care about an awkward truth; you dont suit that jacket, I’d lay off the heroin, the sheep was a dreadful idea etc. So it’s with a heavy heart but a resigned knowledge of our duty that we say this – that’s just fucking stupid.
There comes a point when quirkiness can spill wholesale into annoying – witness Tori Amos, so we hope that Regina takes this as the friendly warning it is and gets back on track.
Now, there’s one of ours; tell us about the lyrics which drive you mental.
Filed under: General Stuff Tagged: | bad lyrics, irritating lyrics, lyrics you hate, regina spektor, the calculation
i know there are REM lovers around these parts…I am not one of them, they were ok..but thats it…overhyped twaddle at best…a couple of choice lyrics from them “stand in the place where you live” just stooopid. “leaving was never my proud” wtf …i could have went for an easier target such as sting, but i decided to bash one of ELMs favourites due to the slight on my lovely Paolo. So for the last time…leave him alone. He’s from Paisley…like me… He will know hard people.
He’s a shit singer and he smells of wee.
Surely no-onwe can top: ‘I’m as serious as cancer when I say rhythm is a dancer’?????
One which totally spoils a great upbeat song is on ‘Why Can’t This Be Love?’, by Van Halen.
Sammy Hagar thought it would be a good idea to write ‘only time will tell, if we stand the test of time’. Lame, lame, lame.
BTW, Paolo Notfunny is an overhyped nyaff who should be forcibly incarcerated in a Trappist cell, with no access to a phone, guitar or a computer.
That’s not cruel, it’s more like carrying out a public service.
‘I’m not the Holy Ghost, I’d rather have a piece of toast’ by Desirae. Ghastly.
Nutella is a staggeringly successful act for a talent vortex.
Like the late lamented Bill Hicks said; ‘Did I miss a meeting?’
I also think the lyrical belch that is U2′s ‘Elevation’ could just as easily have been written in green crayon by an autistic spaniel called Frodo.
I get irked by lyrics that just dont work….
Tori Amos – ” I crucify myself “…….sorry Tori , theres no way you can get the last nail in.
” Isn`t it ironic ? “…… nope.
and lions tend not to sleep in the jungle , mighty or not !
” you start wearing blue and brown – working for the clampdown ” ; I dont like that from the clash as a blue/ brown combination is something of a fashion staple in the Dusty -meisters wardrobe.
and…
“Thunder only happens when its raining…” clearly fleetwood mac were never in the position to retire from the music business and move into the meteorological forcasting line .
Oh , and Ive just remembered one of my all time fav`s
ultravox`s ” vienna “…..
” freezing breath on the window pane , so mystic and soulful “……what the fuck is mystic or soulful about condensaion ?