Congratulations to Celine Dion on topping a poll to decide the worst cover version of all time. Apparently, her live version of AC/DC’s magnificent octopus ‘All Night Long’ was the most execrable piece of abuse against another person’s work. To be honest, the ‘what the fuck was she thinking?’ question looms large. AC/DC are not a band who lend themselves to being covered. I don’t see how you would really improve the original, no matter how radically you assaulted the song. But yet, something troubled me about it. I think it was because, to be fair to Ms. Dion, she didn’t commit the song to immortailty with a recorded version. Surely the worst cover is a stinker which never really goes away?
There have been some supremely awful things committed in the name of tribute. Indie bands doing ‘ironic’ tributes hav been in vohue recently. It started with Travis and their ‘hilarious’ cover of ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’ by Britney Spears, a song which frankly has more spirit and verve than anything the lettuce-like Glaswegian rockers have ever produced. Now they are all bursting into the Live Lounge on Jo Whiley’s show, racing through Girls Aloud covers and issuing knowing winks to the audience. ‘Like, hey, we know this isn’t cool, but that’s what, like, makes it so cool, yeah?’ No. Fuck off and die. You are lumpen indie vermin not fit to lace Girls Aloud’s g-strings. And I don’t particularly like Girls Aloud, but they are still better than the Kooks or the Hoosiers.
If you are going to do a cover, pick an obscure song. Take a classic and fuck it up good and proper. And then get it out there for history to judge. You will never be worse than Nickelback covering the Beatles. You will never be worse than U2 doing Lou Reed. Do it. But avoid AC/DC.You will only fuck it up.
Filed under: General Stuff Tagged: | Ac/Dc, Covers, dion, rock
My top pick for worst cover of all time is an easy target. Y’see its M People. Pretty much the butt of jokes ever since their Mike Pickering-being-cool-cos-of link-to- Hacienda heyday ended.
Oh, yes, lets hear it for the M People slaughtering of Itchycoo Park by The Small Faces. Heather Small’s braying voice STILL actually makes me want to spew just by thinking about the song. You know that way you get unpleasant goose pimples and feel slightly nauseous? Thats what I feel when I hear or think about this vomitus.
The insipid brass stabs of the backing track, the “dance beats for people who dont take drugs”, the watery backing vocals, the warbling keyboards. It’s all shit. Someone should take out a fatwa on them for this. Imagine ruining a perfectly good/great song this way. It’s blasphemous. Philistines.
I’d also like to nominate Annie Lennox’s cover of ‘Redemption Song’ by Bob Marley. The whitest woman in the world going rasta. Fuck.
Ive got a version of Elvis singing “Teenage Kicks”,
only in my head unfortunately.
Wet Wet Wet’s cover of ‘Love is all around’
Terrible, terrible version, and hugely succesful, so it was played everywhere, for weeks, and weeks.
REM did a great version of it as part of their MTV unplugged set.
I think Mike Mills sung on it.
They also ripped off REM in the video, which stole the idea from ‘Radio Song’. Sad.
Rolf Harris – stairway to heaven.
Led Zeppelin – two little boys……………each had a wooo-ooooooooddennnnnn hooowwwaarsssssah !