Extreme Listening Mode!

Let’s face it, us birds get a bad rap in the drop dead cool rock stakes – don’t worry, I’m no Germaine Greer, I’m just stating the obvious. Female recording artists are 10 a penny these days, but women who (actually) write and record their own songs, and keep up with the boys in every department have always been a little harder to come by (I said by, boys).

Well, I’m here to point out a few genuin-y, bone a fide rock clever girls of rock, and maybe some that should be taken out the back and shot for bringing us down.

Queens

Patti Smith
What can you say about Patti Smith?  The woman is a legend. She looks and sounds like she washes her face with bleach whilst smoking capstans,but my, did she show the boys how its done.

Aretha Franklin
All right, soul isn’t strictly rock, but this woman is, well, THE woman. Don’t tell me there’s no rock in that voice. That voice is rock. And so is she. Two teenage pregnancies, twice divorced, and apparently now terminally addicted to fried chicken, Franklin is the queen of soul who refuses to give up her crown, even to the point where she publicly rebuked Beyonce Knowles for giving the same moniker to Tina Turner at this year’s Grammies. R-E-S-P-E-C-T indeed.

PJ Harvey
Polly Jean has it all – she is kooky, talented, mysterious and credible. This surprisingly tiny woman is surely the most rock thing to come out of Dorset? With a penchant for glittery cat suits, a long slow growl of a voice and some absolutely killer tunes, she always owns a stage, and keeps up with the big boys.

Christine McVie/Stevie Nicks
Fleetwood Mac without the girls – LSD-taking dope-smoking twiddly blues with no direction. Fleetwood Mac with the girls – rock excess of the highest order, with some bloody good tunes thrown in. Right, the change of decade may have had something to do with the excess – Peter Green’s unfortunate episode with acid obviously changed everyone in the bands’ attitude to drugs. Who knew cocaine could be so bad for you too??!! In the mean time the drugs, the sex and the bewitching ladies made Fleetwood Mac the biggest band of the seventies. You go, girlfriends.

Cunts

Madonna
No-one can deny Mad’s back catalogue is chock-full of stone cold classics, but enough is enoug already. The current incarnation of the material girl seems to be using her undisputed yoga-prowess to squat really low over that back catalogue and piss all over it. Fishnets and leotards? Seriously? At 50? Super-cool producers does not a classic tune make.

Alanis Morrisette
Just fuck off, will you?

Filed under: General Stuff