ELM Towers will be vacated this evening as we head out to see current press darlings the Ting Tings (full review tomorrow.) It’s a hot ticket gig and no mistake; the venue sold out very quickly on the strength of the ‘Great DJ’ single (which is as awesome a piece of throbbing art-disco as you are likely to hear this year) and it’s a tiny venue at that. Apart from the usual collection of music fans, weekly music press readers and regular Sunday night gig crowd, I am sure to see one of the least appealing examples of humanity in our midst today; the big city local music scene scenester.
Ah, the scenester. The scenester has been in unsuccessful local bands ever since he dropped out of his History of Art class at the local Uni. He sports an immaculately trendy haircut, which is so far advanced of what mere mortals thinks is in fashion that to the untrained eye he actually looks like a T-Rex roadie. He is achingly thin and despises everything about the band in front of him because a) they have a record deal and he doesn’t, b) they have filled a venue whereas he couldn’t give tickets away with a free blow job voucher and c) they have talent. He loudly bemoans that they are ‘derivative of (INSERT NAME OF MYSTERIOUS COOL KRAUTROCK BAND HE’S NEVER ACTUALLY HEARD)’ and/or ‘not as good as they used to be.’ I am particularly looking forward to seeing one of these people tonight, as the Ting Tings aren’t immediately indebted to anyone in particular and haven’t released their debut album yet. I am hoping that this will lead to an implosion in the Scenester’s head, and that he’ll simply retreat to a wall behind his cold, dead eyes.
Scenesters never seem to realise that people at the gig may not desire or require a running commentary on the show. A friend of mine once attended a Bright Eyes gig in a tiny venue in Glasgow, and the quiet delight of Conor Oberst’s fragile music was somewhat obscured by a gaggle of scenesters debating the merit of his set WHILE HE WAS FUCKING PLAYING IT! Arab Strap’s Aidan Moffatt proved himself as cool as his music by kicking them out. Scenesters are worse if they love the act playing. I went to a solo show by one of my heroes, Roger McGuinn of the Byrds. Now, you are possibly wondering how the legendary frontman’s songs would sound without the harmony vocals. Well, I couldn’t have told you because a group of local Scenesters moved to the table in front of the stage and loudly sang all the parts. Fair enough, nothing wrong with singing at a gig. But not, I am sure you will agree, when it is putting off the artist and the crowd can’t hear him for a fucking barber-shop quartet amatuer hour arsehole collective taking over!
In the end, I suppose I should feel sorry for the scenester. Can they ever really enjoy a gig without thinking ‘it should be ME up there!’? Do they appreciate the talent in the room or simply find themselves consumed with a destabilising rage, and that they have to fight the fear, the creeping agonising fear, that having the right haircut and clothes won’t mask an essential lack of actual talent? Who knows. But fuck them. If tonight us old fuckers at the back and the students down the front are grooving away to a great gig while the ‘trendsetters’ are standing on the sidelines gurning then that’s fine by me. We’ll leave the bellends to themselves.
Filed under: General Stuff | Tagged: Aidan Moffat, Arab Strap, Bright Eyes, Byrds, concerts, Conor Oberst, gigs, Live shows, Roger McGuinn, Scenesters, Ting Tings
You went to see the Ting Tings?
I pity you.
http://watchwithmothers.wordpress.com/2008/03/18/the-ting-tings-great-dj/
Swineshead, the review will be up later but they were absolutely brilliant. Not what I was expecting at all – it was very CBGB’s late 70′s scene, an amalgam of Talking Heads, Blondie, Television and (very strongly) Patti Smith.
I took a while to be persuaded about their merits but was finally won over last night. A man of your fine tastes will like them eventually, I promise!
blondie ha. she’s dead old
an amalgam of Talking Heads, Blondie, Television and (very strongly) Patti Smith</i?
Cool! My head is melted just trying to fuse that combination together!
In fairness to Scenesters, they are often pretty damn good at spotting genuine new talent. What I dislike though is how many of them drop a band if it starts to get a little bit of popular attention. Sheeesh!
Apols for the rubbish use of html.
RockR, it’ll happen to you one day my little friend.
Longman, you are spot on there. They get in early then leave when the band ‘go commercial’ by selling records and things.
As for the Ting Tings, MUCH better than I expected. Really very CBGB’s.
Rock r, I look forward to your comments almost as much as the actual reviews. You, I think might just be a genius in your own strange little way. Are you still at school?